This Day - 11 Years Ago

  Memorial Day Weekend. My brother, Walt passed away 11 years ago today - May 30, 2010. He was 55 yrs. old. Eleven years ago, my Mother and husband still here. Together we worked through the heartbreak; the sadness, the suddenness, the shock of losing Walt. A loss never to overcome, but to accept. 

Walt was 4 years younger, and would eventually grow taller than me - but he would always be my little brother. One I doted on, protected (if anyone ever said a word I thought diminished Walt in any way, they would have my wrath to deal with), and loved.  Walt and I not only siblings , but also good friends. A blessing to both of us. 

                                                          

Recently on Facebook I posted a slideshow my brother made from our Mother’s 70th birthday party.  Walt captured the fun, happy time we had through the many photos, and music he compiled.  It had tickled my brother I had been doing some weightlifting at Iron Mike’s , a gym near my home in Bonners Ferry. Ok, sis, he prompted me again and again,  flex your muscles . Then he’d strike a pose to show me what to do. Like I was getting ready to compete for a national trophy in a muscle building contest. Mother and Gary and friends,  Jim and Patty laughing in the background at our silly antics . It was that visit Walt and I straddled concrete deer in front of the drug store at Lewiston Mall.  Making us laugh  right out loud.   

                                          

I miss my brother. And now my Mother and Gary, too. The sound of their voices, their happy laughter, us being together , and all we shared. Not just Memorial Day weekend, but every day all year through. 

          

Gentle on My Mind

May 2. Nighttime. The day is over.  It was my and Gary’s Wedding Anniversary today.  Our first anniversary without him being here.  I woke early. Laying in bed alone, missing my mate; I spoke aloud, hoping he could hear, Happy Anniversary, Gary Dobbs.  My heart ached to hold him near. 

I posted pictures from our Wedding on FaceBook . 

Mass was celebrated in memory of Gary this morn. I listened to the Gospel readings, and Father Jeff’s Homily about the Holy Family; Jesus, Mary and Joseph,  and how our Lord hears and answers our prayer. I closed my eyes and prayed I would know Gary’s presence this day in a special way. Even envisioning I would see my beloved , hear the sound of his voice when I returned home .   Instead, it was dear friend, Jeanne calling. She asked if I would like to join her and Ella for a special event at Rivaura Winery this afternoon, and said she thought that’s what Gary would want me to do, be with friends , not sit home alone.  Already teary eyed , I cried some more , but responded that I’d like to do that. 

                                                                                 

 

And it was a beautiful, peaceful, happy day. Rivaura Vineyard and Winery with its spectacular  Idaho views overlooking the Clearwater River; and jutted, shaded escarpments reaching into the blue of the sky . Friend Glenda, and her husband joined us . Musicians softly playing their instruments, and the sweet fellowship of friendship  filled the afternoon. 

It’s only now I’m realizing I did know my husbands presence today, it was in every moment and movement. Beginning with Mass this morn, in Jeanne’s invitation , the camaraderie with friends. The beauty of the place. Gary was gentle on my mind, in my heart. My friends and I clinked our glasses together,  a toast to him, and me; Happy Anniversary! It was just the kind of day, my Gary would enjoy. 

                                                                                     

                                                                           

***  Rivaura Estate Vineyards and Winery is located near Juliaetta, Idaho.  If you like good wine, beautiful scenery and a charming, rural atmosphere, be sure to add Rivaura to your ‘go to’ list.  Rivaura is family owned and operated. Their web site:  rivaura.com