Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Easter Sunday and my Mother's Birthday

     Last Sunday, Easter Sunday millions of Christians commemorated the Risen Jesus. Holy Family church was packed, standing room only , filled with worshipers coming to sing Easter alleluias and give glory to God. While it was impossible not to observe the joy and festive spirit of those gathered , many dressed in cheerful, spring colored clothing , I sat like a pouty child not getting her or his own way - missing my mother and husband being  with me. Wishing I could reach out to touch my Mother’s hand , to give Mom and Gary a kiss at the Sign of Peace. On this day of great joy I was using all my self control not to cry , and can only hope Father Root didn’t notice the gloomy look  on my face as he proclaimed the Gospel and gave a homily on the Easter message.
    I wondered if my mother and brother  received Holy Communion from the wounded hands of our dear Jesus; I gave thanks for 
friend , Jeanne sitting with Gary allowing me to attend Mass , and for family and friends so dear to me. I followed the prayers of the liturgy , but with a melancholy heart. Then something amazing happened , after receiving Eucharist I decided to leave and was walking down the aisle towards the back of the church when the choir began singing the hymn, Be Still And Know That I Am God.         It was as though a heavenly presence had tapped me on the shoulder.  I immediately stopped , turned around and this time didn’t hold back the tears that welled in my eyes. My mother’s favorite bible verse from  Psalm 46. Be still and know that I am God .  How many times had I heard Mom recite , and direct me to that verse whenever  I was troubled, hurt or worried over  
something .  I knelt and bowed my head giving thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ for the glory of his cross and resurrection, for his faithfulness and tender mercies , and  for my mother with her continuing presence in my life and her loving reminder Easter morning, to Be still and know that I am God.

    Now it's Wednesday April 24. My mother's birthday. Surely the stars twinkled brightly the day she was born, and her presence graced the earth. I  think of Mom's genuine goodness, her sweetness and strength; of her unconditional love of my brother and me, and I am grateful. One of my favorite things was when Mama would tell stories about her youth. It seemed Mom always  had a love affair with life, reflected from the days she was very young,  and the joy she found in her family and friends.
                                               



     Mom shared how when she was a little girl, Great Grandma Norton would ask her what she wanted for her birthday. Each year Mama would say, your Applesauce cake, Grandma.   Mom said she never ever tasted Applesauce cake that was as good as Grandma Norton's, and that when she (Mom) got to Heaven that was one of the first things she was going to ask for  - a piece of Grandma Norton's Applesauce cake.  
    Well, my darling Mother, I have no doubt you're in Heaven. And today's your birthday.  I'm smiling thinking of you celebrating with all your Heavenly family and friends, and once again enjoying Grandma Norton's  homemade Applesauce cake ! and yes, missing you, too, and our sitting in the backyard laughing and talking, and  listening to music as we liked to do. But I rejoice in this day, Mom, the day you were born; for from  that very day the fate was sealed you would one day be my Mother. Lucky me !

     
 * In eulogy for Walt i quoted e.e. cummings - the words i spoke for my brother then,  hold the same meaning and truth for you, Mom
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in. my heart)

Happy Birthday, oh Mother of mine ! I love you.