Thursday, May 14, 2026

A Eulogy for my Dad (Ronald William Cooney)

                                 


                                             

About my Dad. I like to say it all started in Council Bluffs, Iowa January 19, 1931 when Ronald William Cooney was born to devoted, caring, hard working parents, Cecil and Vera Cooney. Dad was one of four siblings, having an older sister and brother, Myrtle and Lloyd,  and a younger brother Cecil, Jr.


From a very early age dad and his younger  brother would become Skippy and Peppy, then as they got  older, shortened simply to Skip and Pep. They shared an upstairs bedroom, where  in bed at night they’d listen  to Inner Sanctum and The  Golden Arm on the radio. Uncle Pep shared how after the show was over,  the room would be  very  dark and he’d be almost asleep, when his big brother would grab  his shoulder and start shaking it,  and in a threatening, dramatic  voice say  “Who has  my golden arm? You’ve got it!” scaring the wits out of him, my uncle said.  

On occasion the brothers would  sneak  out of  their  bedroom window on sheets tied together, only to be returned home by a friendly police officer, much to the surprise of their older sister who had been babysitting.  Then there  were  times Dad said he would go joyriding in grandpa’s car, times when he crashed the car, times he’d take the car without permission and the car broke down or got a flat tire. Ending with  Dad always having 

to call his father  to come fix the situation.  Then as Dad said, to accept the  punishment he knew he deserved.


Dad had fond memories of his father  singing to him.  And liked to sing himself. When my parents - my Mother Lenora and Dad  were young they often performed and sang together at different venues in Council  Bluffs and Omaha, and continued to do so even after I was born. Just as dad had fond memories of his dad singing,  I have fond memories of my dad singing -  tunes like Ka-Ka Katie Beautiful KatieMack the Knife, and the old gospel song Meshach, Shadrach and Abendego. I think dad’s secret longing, or maybe not so secret was to be a performer, to entertain. Something he enjoyed throughout his life - writing, and acting out little skits; telling stories, and singing. Two  years ago while I was visiting Dad & Susie,  Dad made a sheriff’s star out of colored construction paper and attached it to the bright yellow tee shirt he was wearing - part of his costume he said, telling us he was going to sing a song after dinner and wanted me to record it. Like a director, he pointed his finger at me and  yelled ‘now’.  Then as if on  que  began to sing  Don’t Fence Me In, acting out the lyrics. It was quite the show watching my 93 year old father so vibrant and entertaining, still singing  right on key! 

After Dad’s passing I posted the video on YouTube. Dad would be amazed, and thrilled to know his  rendition of Don’t Fence Me In has  garnered close to 700 hits! I know I am!


Being a Boy Scout, and remaining active with scouts, even into early adulthood left a big impact on dad, one that he  would reference  throughout his life, and said  contributed in part to his own attitude : to be prepared, to persevere; determination, organization, problem solving, leadership, faith.  Attributes that dad practiced and applied to his daily living. You could  say Dad came from a scouting family.

His dad was a Scoutmaster, and both 

of his brothers were Eagle Scouts, as was Dad. Only 4% of scouts become Eagle Scouts, most at 17 years old. Dad liked to point out, he was just 15 -

quite an achievement at an early age.  

Dad once told me he loved everything about scouting, especially his summers at Camp Wakonda and  being a counselor, the pride he found in teaching younger boys and helping them to reach their goals. I’m very proud, and honored to have my Dad’s sash with its 32 badges, 2 silver arrows, and Eagle Scout medal - a Christmas gift from dad many years ago, framed and hanging on my family room wall. 


In 1955 we left Council Bluffs for Southern California where Dad attended Compton College. Dad liked Southern California, especially the beaches and was a big fan of the Dodgers, after they moved to LA in 1957. Dad loved baseball then. 

I remember he’d often listen to the games on the radio - at home or in the car. And on occasion we’d go to Dodger games at the newly built Chavez Ravine stadium.  


Dad  took a job with Airco (Air Reduction Company)  where he started as a loader, was quickly promoted to sales and then named Regional Sales Manager. 


By 1965 his career took a different path and Dad relocated to St. Louis where he held an  executive position at a direct marketing company there  and would eventually start his own firm, Marketing Associates of America


My younger brother Walt  and I would visit Dad for 2 weeks during the summer. In the summer of 1967 my  girlfriend, Susan travelled with us to visit Dad.  It was during that visit my father truly made his mark in folklore history. 


It happened like this. Dad made reservations for us at an upscale restaurant in downtown St. Louis. The kind of place where Dad wore  a suit, my brother a sports coat and tie, and Susan and I in stylish dresses of that era.  We had finished our meal and dessert was being served - Cherries Jubilee!  Before we took our first bite Dad said, wait, listen to me -  before we have dessert I’m going to perform a trick. I’m going to pull this tablecloth away, but  leave everything staying on the table just as it is. That got our attention. I looked at my Dad wondering if he was serious. 

Then he stood up, took the edges of the tablecloth in each hand, gave a good strong pull and yanked that tablecloth right off the table!  If you’re thinking   everything remained on the table as it was, you’d be wrong. Cherries Jubilee flung in the air, glasses crashed to the floor , and utensils and dinnerware went  everywhere. Water splattered all over and  dessert now decorated  our clothes. People at nearby tables gawked and stared at us. Walt, Susan and i sat there speechless; dumbfounded. Dad looked at us, started laughing  and said, well, I guess that didn’t turn out the way  I thought it would!   

The waiter appeared saying to Dad, 

I’ll have someone clean this up, sir.  Dad thanked him  then said, AND bring more Cherries Jubilee. 

Susan and I are now 75 years old. We were 16 then. 

Walt was 12. And  still, after all these years  it remains a favorite story my friend  continues to tell, about  the infamous Mr. Cooney and his Tablecloth Trick


In 1969 Dad’s life became more fulfilled and happy, more content when in June he married  Susanne Lentin. Susie would become his life mate, and forever partner; his best friend.They  would welcome their son Shea in 1971 and daughter Shannon in 1973. Dad delighted  in talking about Shea and Shannon. In letters to Walt and me Dad would tell  about  Shea playing hockey, and Shannon being so  cute and creative, her funny  sayings about her dancing feet. And about Susie’s many talents, and how  she loved to dance. And what a good dancer she was! How he and Susie played Poker or  Mahjong every week  with Susie’s parents, and her Aunt Rose and Uncle Ken. About the fun they had. 


As it happens, years pass by, folks get older, and before you know it, it’s time for retirement.  Twenty years ago Dad and Susie made the decision to leave Missouri and move to a retirement community in Florida - The Villages.  It was a perfect fit for them. Dad  delighted in everything about it; the weather, the many clubs and activities, great restaurants, the people, and  especially the live entertainment. Dad joined a Pickle Ball League, played Bocce - even winning the Championship title two years in a row, and attended a weekly poker game. I always said The Villages should have hired Dad as their PR man, he was forever sending brochures  to family & friends highlighting the ‘fabulous’ lifestyle of The Villages and encouraging them to visit and/or move there. 


Dad was always a good writer; short stories, poetry and verse, a gift he inherited from his Mother who was  also a good writer of poetry and verse. Dad, a member of Quill and Scroll, wrote for his high school newspaper, and when he graduated, The Omaha World Herald  offered him a job in their editorial department - right out of high school!,   but Dad turned it down, instead taking a job with the Union Pacific, working in their mail car. That didn’t stop him from writing though. Throughout Dad’s professional career he wrote hundreds of brochures, articles in catalogues, and sales magazines. In his later years he began writing what he called anecdotes, and short essays and 

did more letter writing. My cousin Shauna recently told me she felt she has gotten to know Uncle Skip much better in the last few years through his letters and notes to her. Whether to Shauna, his grandson Gavin, nephew Nate, friends or me,  Dad’s  letters would usually  include some anecdote and humor, and  always words of encouragement. 


Dad had many fine qualities - his exuberance for life, not holding grudges, his quest for constant learning. But I think one of his best qualities was how positive he was, how he always encouraged others to persevere and do their best, especially his children; that he believed anything was possible if you put your mind to it, and kept moving forward. 


My dad was a loving dad, and a fun dad. He was quick witted and had a crazy sense of humor. 

He was also a thoughtful dad who wrote these reflections on Thanksgiving Day 2025:


There is always something to be thankful for. You just have to look for it. It is always there . I am thankful for the blessings I have been given. I’m grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful for each day. I am thankful for my ears to hear, my eyes to see, for the gift of love and emotion. I am thankful how wondrous it is  to have the sun, shade,moon, stars, trees, birds and bees, butterflies,crickets,bullfrogs,mice and ducks, white clouds, summer rain and winter snows, the sea and a sea breeze. And Starbucks, too. 

In every day there are joys. There are sorrows, too. But as Annie sang, “The sun will come out tomorrow”.

Today and every day I am grateful that I have an attitude of gratitude… and I’m hopeful you do too.


Happy Thanksgiving Day, and every day.


 In the spirit of thanksgiving, I say to  my father now,  I am thankful for you. I love you very much, Dad, and am so grateful to be your daughter - in this life, and through eternal life.

Rest in peace, dear Dad.  May perpetual light shine 

upon you +


                                                        

                                                                                           



Friday, October 10, 2025

From The Start

 Five years gone 
from holding his hand 
Five years gone from the
sound of his voice
Five years gone from 
his warm hug
and loving embrace 
Five years gone from
touching his face 
and seeing his smile;
The blue of his eyes 
and loving gaze
Five years gone
but forever in my heart
Eternally bound were we
from the very start;
My husband, my lover,
 my most darling friend 

 

                     

In loving Memory 
Gary Dobbs (12.15.1940 - 10.10.2020)
       

                        


Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Hope, & Walking to End Alzheimer's


The annual Quad Cities (Lewiston, Clarkston, Moscow, Pullman) Walk to End Alzheimer's was this past Saturday, September  27.  It was the second time I joined the walk. The first time was September 2021. My husband, Gary had passed away with Alzheimer's  in October the previous year. I was blessed to have the support of several friends as they joined me to walk for Team Gary Dobbs                                                                                


The following years I stayed away from participating. It seemed the 'Walk' date always conflicted with other appointments, activities, travel plans I had on my calendar. Or maybe there was  another deeper, darker reason.  I didn't want to associate with the enemy - the wretched disease that stole my darling  husband from me. From our sons and grandchildren. The evil Alzheimer's who left me without my soulmate; my life partner, my love. I didn't want to be reminded of Al. - of the thief and killer it was. And is.  

But somewhere tendered away in my heart I understood it's not just me and my family Al  has robbed and shattered. 7.2 million people have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (with projections reaching  13.6 million by 2060). Nearly every one has known someone - family member, friend, neighbor who has been touched  by this dreaded disease. At Saturday's gathering each participant was asked to choose a colored cloth flower to hold while walking.  Purple to represent the death of a loved one, Blue for someone living with Alzheimer's or Dementia, Yellow for a caregiver, Orange for someone who supports the cause, and White for hope  there will soon be a cure.  Hope. There is always hope. One reason for The Walk is to give witness to Hope. To encourage one another. Those  of us who have taken this unplanned for, unwanted journey, and those  on it now. To bring awareness, and raise funds for studies that will have positive results in finding a vaccine to defeat, and eliminate the evil Alzheimer's. Hope that there will be a cure. 

                                                    


 And yes, to be reminded. Sorrowful though it is. Reminded Alzheimer's doesn't strike just one family, one household, one community, one country but attacks wherever it chooses, to whom it chooses. Unexpected. Always leaving anguish and heartache, and loss in its path. To be reminded the battle goes on, even  after the passing of our loved one. Until there's a cure there will always be someone else suffering the slow ravages of Alzheimer's and needing the support of  a kindred spirit. 

While researchers believe age, family history, Genetics, and certain medical conditions contribute to  Alzheimer's, as of yet there isn't a single link to what the cause is. According to some studies there are multiple factors, including mutations in genes, and the accumulation of two proteins in the brain. According to the Alzheimer's  Association web site,  of 7.2 million people age 65 or older with Alzheimer's in the U.S., 4.4 million are women. Another study shows a higher percentage of Latino and Afro-American men have Alzheimer's over white males. And because Finland has the highest rate of Alzheimer's, climate is being looked at as a possible cause. 

 To Hope. To believe. To walk and carry on. I've already committed to next year's  Walk to End Alzheimer's. Along with the Purple flower signaling my husband has died, I will also  carry a White flower showing I remain hopeful that someday there will be a cure.

                                                   


In sweet, loving memory of my darling husband, Gary Dobbs
           

*** For more information about Alzheimer's, in of need help and support, or looking for a Walk to End Alzheimer's event in your area please visit Alz.org  

 


Thursday, September 4, 2025

Walt. & Birthday Musings

 I hear stories sometimes about siblings who didn’t get along when they were growing up. Due to age difference, rivalry, incompatibility. Or something. I’m glad to say that was never the case for my younger brother, Walt and me.  Even with our 4 year age difference we had a special bond from the day he was born and made his very welcomed entrance into the world September 4, 1954. That’s right. Today would be my brother’s 71st birthday.  He’s been gone 15 years. I wonder what he’d look like now, and the timber of his voice, and what he’d be doing in retirement.  It seems to me Birthday’s are to celebrate, and look back; to recall other birthdays and milestones. So today I celebrate my brother, and remember fun, happy years together.  

                                                                                                    

              

When we were very young we shared a bedroom. Well, you might say Walt shared a room with me and my dolls. We played with the same neighborhood kids - Linda and Debie, Richard and Lauri and Pam building forts in the vacant lot at the end of the cul-de-sac, played school in Lauri’s driveway, Hide n Seek and Freeze tag. And with our bowl of cereal and Oreo cookies Walt and I would watch Saturday morning cartoons  and the Roy Rogers show together. Roy Rogers was Walt’s favorite. He had a Roy Rogers cowboy shirt, a Roy Rogers hat and holster; and to this day his Roy Rogers guitar is still tucked away downstairs. Walt liked Roy Rogers so much he even started telling people his name was Roy Rogers! 

                                                     


                                        

Through the years we continued to play games - Monopoly, Clue, Cribbage, Ping Pong and watch TV together. And listen to records.  Mama would say one of her favorite things was listening to Walt and me as we sat on the living room floor laughing and giggling, playing some board game.  I believe the reason Walt and I were close, and got along like we did was because of the loving environment our Mother created, her joyful spirit and guidance to always be good to one another. Mama worked hard to provide for Walt and I. When she walked in the front door at 5:30 each weekday she didn’t  want to hear my brother and me squabbling. And I can say with great certainty, she never did. 

The Christmas before our parents divorced Santa brought me a brand new pink and white Schwinn bicycle. Walt got a bike, too. My old one. I remember Dad took a lot of time cleaning it up, painting it red and putting new grips with streamers on the handlebar. A few years later Walt would get a brand new bike for Christmas. One year a red Stingray, the following year a Schwinn 10 speed. It was pearlesque green. By that time I was in the 8th grade and had outgrown the pink and white bike so would often borrow my brother’s cool 10 speed to go riding with classmates from St. Rose. Lucky me, my little brother always so generous in allowing me to use his prized bicycle. 

As we got older our chores increased. Walt and I would take turns doing the dishes. Or sometimes we’d both do them, Walt would wash and I would dry. Or vice versa. Only on occasion because of our silly antics did a dish get broken. Mama taught me how to iron (although Mama still did most of it), but because  Walt didn’t like the way I ironed his shirts he started ironing his shirts, and some of my blouses! He did do a much better job of it, too. For a while we didn’t have a washer or dryer so we had to bag up our dirty clothes, towels and sheets and take them to the laundromat around the corner from where we lived. It was walking distance. It seems a funny family outing now, Mother, brother & sister trekking to the laundromat. But that’s what we did. We’d do two or three loads at a time. When the dryer cycle ended each of us would fold clothes. If it were a movie musical I’m sure we would have been singing a song and dancing on the washing machines, but instead we just chatted back and forth. Looking forward to the day we’d get a new washer. 

One of my cherished memories, long  before we all left California is  Walt and Patty, Gary and me playing marathon games of Ping Pong on a warm summer night in Mom’s garage. Seals & Crofts on the radio singing Darling if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me… It was such a sweet, happy time. Each of us full of hope and dreaming big. 

I miss you, Walt. And all we shared. 

Happy Birthday little brother 

                                          


 


Sunday, August 24, 2025

SUMMER NIGHTS

 A gentle breeze brushes
against my skin like 
wisps of Angel wings 
fluttering by 
Solar lights lined one 
after the other along the 
garden path  give a glow like
lit candles in a dusky church;
Someone’s silent prayer 
reaching to Heaven  
The night is quiet,
peaceful  and still
The moon and stars
in their proper place
provide a perfect
canopy for my
backyard sanctuary


And long ago …. 
On hot summer nights  when folks didn’t have 
cellphones or cable tv, or computers or iPads;
 No air conditioning or cooling fans,  they sat outside
on a front porch swing and would greet neighbors as they 
passed by. And ponder the evening sky. 
And listen to the gentle 
breeze blowing through the trees. 
Sometimes someone might hum
a favorite melody, or whistle a happy tune like my 
Great Grandma Blanche would do. As the night 
grew darker a chorus of crickets
would start to sing. From rose bushes lining the walkway a
faint, sweet scent  would waft upward. 
It was magical and lovely 
those warm summer nights sitting on the front porch swing 
with people who loved me