An Easter Message 2021

 

                                                          

At Good Friday services today, Father Jeff, our pastor at Holy Family shared when he was a younger man how he pondered the question, if he had been  at Jesus’ crucifixion would he have stayed like John,  or because of the hostile crowd, become frightened, and run off along with many of Jesus’ disciples. That hit a nerve with me, and I ponder, too. Would I have stayed , or ran off ? I’d like to think I would have stayed. Drawing near to the cross of Christ. Crying. Looking at Jesus, trying to reach up, touching his bloodied, nailed feet. Calling out, Jesus, please don’t go, persevere.  Praying ultimately to the Heavenly Father, for the release of Jesus’ pain. For his peaceful passing from this earth. No longer to suffer.  Knowing I wouldn’t be there because of any bravery on my part, but because I wouldn’t want Jesus to leave me, to be left alone without him. To have to fend for myself. To be alone without His company and companionship , His unconditional love.  Maybe that’s why God gives us the chance to care for others, our loved ones on this earth in their last moments - to help us see Jesus in them , and know, like Jesus, they are with us always.

I ponder too, something a dear friend messaged me the other day, I can only hope you have found your way without him. She was referring to my husband, Gary . I know she wrote with love and care, and I am so grateful. I read her words several times, and reflected how I would reply. Finding my way without him. I thought long and hard. Have I found my way without him? He, who was the other half of myself ? My anchor, and my sail. The one who grounded me , and also lifted me higher ; Helping me to be the better me. 

Almost seven months he’s been gone. This man I loved with all my heart, this man I shared 45 years of my life with . Have I moved on ?  No. I will never move on , leaving Gary behind. He will always be with me, forever and always . But, I am learning to adapt; to ‘carry on’ as my cousin Shauna encourages me to do.  I am blessed in family and friends being present to me: listening to my silence, and my sadness. Reassuring and caring. Allowing me time. Theirs is a true, great gift of love. And for them my heart overflows. 

My reflection, my pondering now turns to Easter, just a few days away. The risen Lord, the promise of eternal life and what it means. What is promised to those who believe. I think not only of my darling husband , but my beloved Mother and brother, Walt; my grandparents , aunts, uncles and dear friends gone from this earth.  Renewed, restored, made whole in the Heavenly realm. And I am encouraged. Bolstered to persevere, yes, to carry on until some time, in God’s time,  once again Gary and I will embrace like long lost lovers ; overjoyed. (and my dear mother, my brother , and all my loved ones gone before)

Because He has risen. Alleluia! Alleluia!

Happy Easter