Sunday, June 6, 2010

Eulogy for Walt ( Sept. 4, 1954 - May 30, 2010)


Writing my brother's eulogy has proved to be the hardest thing i've ever had to do.  Not because i didn't know him well, or have a million jillion memories to share, but because his life on this earth ended so suddenly.  I still expect to see Walt, so full of life, hopeful, dreaming big dreams and endeavors walk through that door right now, saying "Hey, Kath are all these folks really here to celebrate me"?  He would be so pleased, so proud, so surprised  to know there were family and friends who love him so dearly.

Walt is my mom and dad's son, but when they brought him home from the hospital, i thought he belonged to me. i adored my baby brother from the very moment i saw him, and decided right then and there i would always be his champion, his protector.   Something he didn't always appreciate when he got older, and would say, "Sis, i can take care of my own battles". The truth is, Walt wasn't a batttler, or confrontational; He was sweet and forgiving by nature.

Looking back to his younger days, i can see my little brother and our next door neighbor, Richard pushing an over sized desert tortoise all around the  cul-de-sac  in my doll buggy, pretending they were on a hunting expedition. And how i'd make Walt be one of the students in my make believe classroom. And our sitting together on the front room floor eating Oreo cookies while watching Saturday morning cartoons.

Our mother instilled in us there wasn't to be any tattling - if there was, we'd both be in  trouble.  Mom taught from an early age we weren't just brother and sister, we were friends and needed to look after one another.

That doesn't mean we never had any tiffs or scuffs - we did.  Once when i was  15 and Walt 11, we were chasing through our small frame house on Palm Avenue - teasing each other about one thing or another.  At some point i stood inside the front door, pushing it shut while Walt stood outside the door trying to push it open, when slam-bam ! three of the panes cracked and broke.  After mom came home from work and inquired what happened, Walt and i just looked a blank, shrugged our shoulders  and said it must've been the hot weather. It  wasn't until many years later we told her the truth about the broken class. Somehow, i don't think she was surprised.

For a long time it was just Mom, Walt and me.  We called ourselves the 'Three Muskateers'   and made lots of memories together.  I remember one Saturday when the three of us got the idea to sing our conversation - like a movie musical:  "What are you doing, Wa-al-tt"?  His reply, "I'm sweeping the floo -o-or" .  So on and so on. It sounds silly, but it sure made weekend chores a lot more fun.

Our cousin, Kim shared how much he enjoyed hanging around with Walt when they were kids.  Today, they'd probably classify Walt  as A.D.D., said  Kim, "he was so energetic".

Walt did have an energy and enthusiam for life, including his passion for fishing, boating, riding his Harley and a variety of other things.  While visiting dad and his wife, Susie last summer, Walt said the fishing excursion he and dad went on was one of the best day trips ever. Not just becasue of the fish, but because of the quality time he got to spend with dad.

And his relationship with Kerri; so very dear to him. Kerri was Walt's sweetheart, his best friend, his faithful companion. Walt loved Kerri very much, they were like two peas in a pod, a perfect team; Working together, playing together, laughing together.

Our cousin Lynn in offering words of comfort said 55 years seems so young, but remember, many people at 85 years haven't made the positive impact on others that Walt has.  I then  thought about the true success of my brother's  life, and something his neighbor said the day before yesterday, " Walt, didn't have an enemy, he was good to everyone. He was a great man".

i dedicate this poem by e.e. cummings  to my little brother, Walt.

i carry your heart with me ( i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling) 
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart ( i carry it in my heart)

7 comments:

  1. May God continue to bless you Kathy and family as you go through the healing journey of having your brother pass over. Awesome young man and what beautiful words. Fran

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  2. Thank you Kathy, I now know your brother and he was and is a wonderful man. The reason the Lord took him so young we many never know, but two things struck me in his eulogy the fact that he had the moment to bond with his father before moving on, what a blessing many never have that in their lifetime and two the fact that as young as he was he lived a full life beyond people who might live to be 88 yrs old, that was my thought about my father dying at 64 yrs old. He lived a much fuller life than I will ever if I lived to be 99! May you be always blessed to know your Heavenly Father loves you. Rose English

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  3. He was so loved by all, I wish I would have gotten to know the man that he became. My memories are of a very cute little boy with a smile always on his face. J

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  4. Kathy, that was a beautiful eulogy. What a wonderful sister you are and look at the memories you three have forever. I am amazed at your Mom and what a wonderful job she did with the both of you. I know it's still very tender but what a joy that you were able to share those memories with the ones who knew and loved Walt so. God Bless you and your family.

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  5. I am sorry to hear of your loss. I pray all those beautiful memories of Walt warm your heart and soothe your soul each time you think of him. You celebrate him each time you say his name and share a memory with others. As you have already discovered; he is always in your heart. My sister was my best friend. She passed 20 years ago. I now believe she simply changed form but never really left me. Many days I long for a physical hug or a chance to call her on the phone, but then I realize she always with me because she is less than a thought away, and forever in my heart. May Walt, as a forever a part of you, be your comfort too.

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  6. The eulogy was very moving and beautiful. I feel I have a sense of the man I was not privileged to meet. My heart goes out to you and to your dear mother. Partings are so painful in this world, but a joyous reunion awaits in the next.
    Love to you today,
    Elizabeth

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  7. Dear Kathy, My heart breaks for yours and your Mother's sudden loss of a dear brother, son and friend. Even though in our hearts we know that Walt is with God and without pain, the loss to those left behind is great. God Bless you and your family. It will take time for the emptiness to leave but it will, and you will be left with great memories of your brother, Walt. Your Eulogy is a wonderful tribute to a great man. With Love, Diana (Carroll) Rivers

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