Walt. & Birthday Musings

 I hear stories sometimes about siblings who didn’t get along when they were growing up. Due to age difference, rivalry, incompatibility. Or something. I’m glad to say that was never the case for my younger brother, Walt and me.  Even with our 4 year age difference we had a special bond from the day he was born and made his very welcomed entrance into the world September 4, 1954. That’s right. Today would be my brother’s 71st birthday.  He’s been gone 15 years. I wonder what he’d look like now, and the timber of his voice, and what he’d be doing in retirement.  It seems to me Birthday’s are to celebrate, and look back; to recall other birthdays and milestones. So today I celebrate my brother, and remember fun, happy years together.  

                                                                                                    

              

When we were very young we shared a bedroom. Well, you might say Walt shared a room with me and my dolls. We played with the same neighborhood kids - Linda and Debie, Richard and Lauri and Pam building forts in the vacant lot at the end of the cul-de-sac, played school in Lauri’s driveway, Hide n Seek and Freeze tag. And with our bowl of cereal and Oreo cookies Walt and I would watch Saturday morning cartoons  and the Roy Rogers show together. Roy Rogers was Walt’s favorite. He had a Roy Rogers cowboy shirt, a Roy Rogers hat and holster; and to this day his Roy Rogers guitar is still tucked away downstairs. Walt liked Roy Rogers so much he even started telling people his name was Roy Rogers! 

                                                     

                                        

Through the years we continued to play games - Monopoly, Clue, Cribbage, Ping Pong and watch TV together. And listen to records.  Mama would say one of her favorite things was listening to Walt and me as we sat on the living room floor laughing and giggling, playing some board game.  I believe the reason Walt and I were close, and got along like we did was because of the loving environment our Mother created, her joyful spirit and guidance to always be good to one another. Mama worked hard to provide for Walt and I. When she walked in the front door at 5:30 each weekday she didn’t  want to hear my brother and me squabbling. And I can say with great certainty, she never did. 

The Christmas before our parents divorced Santa brought me a brand new pink and white Schwinn bicycle. Walt got a bike, too. My old one. I remember Dad took a lot of time cleaning it up, painting it red and putting new grips with streamers on the handlebar. A few years later Walt would get a brand new bike for Christmas. One year a red Stingray, the following year a Schwinn 10 speed. It was pearlesque green. By that time I was in the 8th grade and had outgrown the pink and white bike so would often borrow my brother’s cool 10 speed to go riding with classmates from St. Rose. Lucky me, my little brother always so generous in allowing me to use his prized bicycle. 

As we got older our chores increased. Walt and I would take turns doing the dishes. Or sometimes we’d both do them, Walt would wash and I would dry. Or vice versa. Only on occasion because of our silly antics did a dish get broken. Mama taught me how to iron (although Mama still did most of it), but because  Walt didn’t like the way I ironed his shirts he started ironing his shirts, and some of my blouses! He did do a much better job of it, too. For a while we didn’t have a washer or dryer so we had to bag up our dirty clothes, towels and sheets and take them to the laundromat around the corner from where we lived. It was walking distance. It seems a funny family outing now, Mother, brother & sister trekking to the laundromat. But that’s what we did. We’d do two or three loads at a time. When the dryer cycle ended each of us would fold clothes. If it were a movie musical I’m sure we would have been singing a song and dancing on the washing machines, but instead we just chatted back and forth. Looking forward to the day we’d get a new washer. 

One of my cherished memories, long  before we all left California is  Walt and Patty, Gary and me playing marathon games of Ping Pong on a warm summer night in Mom’s garage. Seals & Crofts on the radio singing Darling if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me… It was such a sweet, happy time. Each of us full of hope and dreaming big. 

I miss you, Walt. And all we shared. 

Happy Birthday little brother 

                                          

 

SUMMER NIGHTS

 A gentle breeze brushes

against my skin like 

wisps of Angel wings 

fluttering by 

Solar lights lined one 

after the other along the 

garden path  give a glow like

lit candles in a dusky church;

Someone’s silent prayer 

reaching to Heaven  

The night is quiet,

peaceful  and still

The moon and stars

in their proper place

provide a perfect

canopy for my

backyard sanctuary

And long ago …. 

On hot summer nights  when folks didn’t have 

cellphones or cable tv, or computers or iPads;

 No air conditioning or cooling fans,  they sat outside

on a front porch swing and would greet neighbors as they 

passed by. And ponder the evening sky. 

And listen to the gentle 

breeze blowing through the trees. 

Sometimes someone might hum

a favorite melody, or whistle a happy tune like my 

Great Grandma Blanche would do. As the night 

grew darker a chorus of crickets

would start to sing. From rose bushes lining the walkway a

faint, sweet scent  would waft upward. 

It was magical and lovely 

those warm summer nights sitting on the front porch swing 

with people who loved me 

The Amazing Judy Garland

                                                  

In recognition of National Vinyl Record Day today I'm playing  one of my most  prized vinyl albums.  JUDY AT CARNEGIE HALL RECORED LIVE SUNDAY, APRIL 23 AT 8:30 P.M.  If I close my eyes and just listen it's almost like I'm there when the great and talented Judy Garland sang and danced for 3,000 people in a sold out performance. She was on stage for two hours with only one brief intermission singing song after song like nobody else can.  By all accounts its was an incredible night. Like no other. Considered by many critics and fans to be the greatest concert of all time. At the time of its first album release it was on the Billboard chart for 73 weeks, including 13 weeks at No. 1.  It won four Grammy awards: Album of the Year, Best Female Vocal Performance, Best Album Cover, Best Engineering Contribution. Since 1961 Judy At Carnegie Hall has never been out of print. In 2003 Judy at Carnegie Hall concert recording was selected by Library of Congress to be added to the registry. According to the registry the recording captures her iconic Carnegie Hall performance from April 23, 1961- a landmark event in her career. 

 Most of us have a favorite entertainer. One we like and admire more than any other. One whose music when listening to  touches our spirit and makes us smile. And sometimes cry. In recent years the word GOAT has been tossed around a lot. Given to someone recognized as the greatest of all time in their field.  For me, there's no doubt about it! Judy Garland is the GOAT ! The greatest, most talented entertainer of all time. And I'm not the only one to think that! The also extremely talented and gifted Bing Crosby when asked in  different interviews  who he thought  the most talented performer was  would always say Judy Garland. He would cite  her singing, dancing, dramatic acting and comedic ability. The most talented woman I ever knew was Judy Garland, Crosby said. 

Like so many, my first experience of Judy Garland was when I was a child and watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time.  She was Dorothy. Her portrayal so real and genuine. So believable.  Dorothy and Judy Garland are intertwined;  melded into one. Bound together. For all eternity. It's impossible to think of any one other than Judy Garland as Dorothy. Or anyone other than Judy Garland singing Over the Rainbow in the magical, transcendent  way she did. A song that was written by Harold Arlen and Yip Harburg specifically for her.

Judy was 16 years old when she starred in Wizard of Oz, but even before she was going down that yellow brick road looking for home her amazing talent was evident in earlier movies like Pigskin Parade, Broadway Melody of 1938, Everybody Sing, Thoroughbreds Don't Cry, Love Finds Andy Hardy and Listen, Darling. In Listen, Darling Judy sang Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart for the first time. It would remain on her 'songs to sing' list throughout her career. A fan favorite. 

                                                 

Judy Garland starred in 34 feature films including Meet Me in St. Louis, The Clock, Easter Parade, The Harvey Girls, The Pirate.  Several that teamed her with Mickey Rooney. Often referred to as 'Backyard Musicals' (Babe's On Broadway, Strike Up the Band, Girl Crazy). Each one a huge success for MGM Studios. And helped  to make Judy and Mickey super stars of their day. I have watched all of the Judy Garland movies, many times in fact. My goal now is to watch each one in order they were first released. Starting with Pigskin Parade (1937) and ending with I Could Go On Singing (1963). A fun fact about I Could Go On Singing is in the scene where Judy (as Jenny) is on the ferry with her on screen son while her real son Joey Luft and daughter, Lorna are  in the background, playing other passengers on the ferry.  One gets the sense Judy liked being a Mom, and  having her kids around. I'm thinking of the final scene in  The Good Old Summertime where her oldest daughter, still a toddler, Liza Minnelli makes an appearance. And the many times her kids were on her television show.  One image I recently came across and one I like very much is a photo of Judy Garland on stage at the conclusion of the Carnegie Hall performance and  all three of her children are with her. Her arms around Lorna,  with  Joe and Liza next to her. Such a momentous, fabulous  night for Judy Garland!, and who does she bring up on stage to share her triumph?  Her kids. Very endearing. 

                                                       

Besides starring in  34 movies, Judy Garland made over 200 Radio appearances  from 1935 to 1953 (referencing IMDb), did 26 episodes of the Judy Garland Show and 60 TV appearances. According to Wikipedia she appeared in concert over 1,100 times, always receiving a standing ovation.  It has been 56 years since Judy Garland's passing, yet her fan base remains strong with popular (and recommended) sites The Judy Experience and The Judy Room introducing Judy to a younger generation. Both can be found on Youtube and Facebook. Along with many other sites  and videos about Judy Garland, showcasing her many talents. 

And  so many talents she had. It has been reported from more than one source Lana Turner, after watching Judy Garland sing I'm Only Chasing Rainbows in Ziegfeld  Girl, a movie they made together, said I'd give up all my beauty for half of Judy's talent.  In Babe's On Broadway, Mickey Rooney asks Judy Garland to sing for him. She answers by asking,  How do you know I can? Mickey again, You sing when you talk, when you walk. Your eyes are singing right now.  That might have been a movie script. But it could also be said of Judy Garland, not just the character she played. One reason it's so fun to watch her perform is because she sings with her whole body.  Not anyone telling her how to move or look.  It's her innate, natural instinct. I believe a God given gift. In watching segments of her television show on Youtube I've observed something interesting, and lovely when she's with a guest. How she always reaches out to touch them or link her arm in theirs. Or take their hand. It always appears to be very spontaneous and natural. I think it's both her  wanting the guest to feel welcome, and also to ease any anxiety she might be feeling. That reaching out to another is very much a part of Judy Garland's persona. 

 Not only her great singing, but her dancing. She could do it all ! In watching some of her numbers with Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly, and Mickey Rooney those dance steps are complicated, and fast moving. And in most of the routines, she's not only dancing but singing, too. Judy also danced beautifully with choreographer Charles Walters in Presenting Lily Mars.  Just recently I came across a Judy Garland dance number on YouTube that has become a new favorite ! Judy dancing to Irving Berlin's song Mr. Monotony (click below).   It was meant for Easter Parade, but in the end was cut from the movie. I can't imagine why? It is brilliant!  Judy is fabulous! Perhaps the director thought it made the movie too long. Thankfully we now have Youtube and have access to seeing Judy in numbers that were previously  locked away in some studio vault.  Like Doin What Comes Naturally from Annie Get Your Gun. A movie, and role that should have been Judy Garland's. But that's a blog for another time.

                                                        

In 1987  Peter Allen, the Australian singer, songwriter and musician (who along with his brother was for a time the opening act for Judy Garland, and also once married to her daughter, Liza) said, I had never seen a top rate American entertainer before Judy. So when I watched her pour her heart into every performance and literally capture the audience I thought that was normal in the U.S. It wasn't until I worked with other stars that I realized how tremendous she was. There was Judy Garland , and then all the rest. 

I say Judy Garland was like a bright, dazzling one of a kind comet streaming  across the sky  making everybody look up and smile and say, Wow! Aren't we lucky we got to see that! 

                          

My Brother's Passing; A Mother's Heart

                                                                      

My brother passed away 15 years ago today. May 30, 2010. Walt was 55.   Every year since both my father and I have remembered Walt by writing about him, some little anecdote or sweet memory about his life.  And the binding  impact he had on our life, and the lives of all who knew and loved him. Especially our Mother.  Mom passed in 2018.  But only two weeks ago did I come across some folded pages I found tucked away in one of her journal's. Reading  her words, in her handwriting brought me to tears.  So on this anniversary of my brother's passing it is not my telling, and remembering,  but my beloved Mother's. Sharing a mother’s heartache at the loss of her only son. 

About May 30, 2010

Four months ago my world was quite ok. It was May 30. A bright and sunny Sunday - summer was on the way - Summer never came or if it did I didn't notice.  

That sunny day in May my son called - Hi Mom ! The dogs doing great. We were both happy about that - I'm coming home in June he said, to help you. The day was good - Early evening a phone call - He's dead ! Who - who- What- I can't understand you- Kerri's voice - It's Walt - he's dead- This is a mistake, a big mistake.  How can your mind go so blank - 

You are talking but you can't hear what you are saying - you think you are having a stroke - a nightmare. Whatever - it can't be real - 

We'll be there - we'll be there. Kerri needs us now. 

Oh my God in Heaven give me the strength - I don't think I can, I have to, no I can't. I must call his sister, my daughter. Her heart will break - the hardest, worse call I have ever made.

Jan 2, 2011

Another 4 months is gone. Christmas came & went, New Years - now it's Jan 5, 2011- In another 4 months it will be 1 year - No more to hear his 'Hi Mom'- his laugh, to listen to a plan he has - They say it will pass & get better - but wait - wait a minute here - nothing will pass. Are you kidding me. I never ever want the sound of his voice to "pass". The sound of his laughter - "to pass". I want to hear him saying 'Mom I love you & my sister more than you'll ever know -  I do hear it, I do see him in my minds eye. To me my children were always beautiful & loving & fun - I'll always see them. I'll always hear them - Nothing has changed - Now don't think I'm nuts - Walt has moved on to wait for us - but he is still my son ! He is still Kathy's little brother.  No, no, no I don't want anything "to pass”

And this entry, so loving and tender. 

The Same Sat aft.

I just walked out to the mail box & back. Sometimes I like getting mail, sometimes I don't.

The very worst thing came in my mail box today - my Son, my darling, my ever loved son Walt's death certificate - Nobody, nobody ever should have to look on or read their son's death certificate - only 55 years ago I was reading his Birth certificate. I was 21, he was 2 days old - Life & love was new & wonderful. My 4 year old daughter, Kathy was waiting at home to enfold him in her little arms. We will never hold him again - Kathy is now 60 years old & I'm almost 78 - Now you might think or say 55 yrs is a long time- It isn't -

The little hands that stroked your face - the little feet you kissed - the sky blue eyes smiling up at you. Ohhh -  

Kathy's baby brother he will always be - I sit at my kitchen table looking out at the beautiful blue sky - But- it doesn't sparkle like Walt's eyes did. 

You were so loved,Walt.  You are so missed.

                                                             

I know my Mother as an amazing woman. Loving, generous, kind, strong, calm, caring; forgiving.  A woman of deep  faith and prayer. There was never any doubt my brother and I were the gleam in her eye, her pot of gold, the light of her life. And she was everything to us.  So on this anniversary of  Walt's passing I remember my little brother and our Mother, and our life together, and how very good it was. 

       

                                                                         

                                        

                      

The River Walk

                                                 

                                                         

I walk the path down by the river and marvel how each day there is something different to see. One day billowy white clouds, another day dark gray blustery clouds, or maybe no clouds at all, just pale blue sky.  Ducks and geese and white pelicans all very much at home on the shores of their domain. Squirrels scampering through the trees and dogs on leashes excited and happy to be out and about. Young people and old people. Men and women. Some in a group or twosome, but most walk alone. Some leisurely stroll along, others walking as if they’re in a foot race. Most nod or give a cheerful greeting when passing by, adding to the pleasant experience of the walk. If it’s windy I stop to watch the whitecaps on the river and listen to movement of the water slapping the shoreline. It has a steady rhythm, like ocean waves I find peaceful. Some days the river is smooth and calm. No movement at all. Glassy.  Like a mirror reflecting nearby images.  Or an artist’s painting with its shaded hues.  And depending on the time of day, the hills take on varied colors. Sunlit or shadowy. In spring a grassy green highlights the angles and slopes. In summer stark and brown. And in winter it’s not unusual to see the white of snow.  No matter the season, the hills looming over the river have a unique beauty all their own.

Today I pondered what it would be like to walk a longer distance than the two miles I usually do. If I were to go on a spiritual trek and walk miles and miles. What would be my destination? Some far off place or unknown shore?  What would I think of along the way?  Would I observe what was about me and reflect on the greatness of God’s creation. Meditate and pray. Grateful for my feet, my legs, my good health that allows me to be on such a walk? To pray for those God has given me to love, for those who love me? For those who have no one to pray for them; for those who don’t know how to pray.  Maybe I wouldn’t think of anything but be like an empty vessel ready to take in new sights and sounds. Or maybe like the Psalmist instructs, to just be still and know; and grow

                                                     

                           

My daydreaming interrupted by a Canada Goose leading her cute goslings across the trail.  For a few minutes I just stand and watch them.  Each gosling following their mama one after the other.  The mama strutting forward (with posture I wish I had), yet completely aware where her babies are, safe in her care.  I give thanks for my eyes to see, and ears to hear the loveliness of nature, and wildlife.  Perhaps someday I will take that longer spiritual trek, walking miles and miles seeking a special destination.  Until then I’ll continue to walk closer to home taking in the sights and sounds of the river and all it brings: beauty, serenity, quiet.  And awesome wonderment.

                                                       

                                                         

* The Snake River flows between Clarkston, WA and Lewiston, ID - the confluence with the Clearwater River and Snake join at Lewiston.  The Snake River was historically used by the Nez Perce people for travel, trade, and fishing. The Snake River also used by Lewis and Clark on their great Northwest expedition. Today the Snake is a waterway for barge traffic and river cruise ships. Especially at the Port of Clarkston