Dearest Mother
It's Christmas Eve. I'm sitting here in your prayer chair, thinking of you, and missing you so very much. I was just two months old when we celebrated our first Christmas together, as we did every Christmas after . Now I'm 68 yrs. old celebrating my first Christmas without you.
I have to say, Mama it's a little harder for me this year finding the peace and solace of Silent Night, Holy Night without you being here, and am unable to listen to Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, but I'm remembering your delight in the Christmas season, how you enjoyed everything about it ! The shopping, the crowds, the caroling, the gift wrapping, the decorating; you'd always say we're decorating, getting the house ready for the birth of Jesus.
I'm thinking of your excitement in picking out just the right present, your delight in giving , and welcoming family, friends and acquaintances into our home, making each one feel special and loved. Your joy was contagious, Mom, and lifted our spirit.
I'm thinking of Tiny Tears, and Betsy Wetsy, Butler's Lives of the Saints, a Bubble Head Barbie doll; and a collection of Este Lauder Solids. All gifts from you, Mom. Gifts I still have. Did I ever tell you, Mom how very much I appreciated your working so hard to provide for my brother and me, to make our Christmas morning wishes come true ? Did I ever tell you what it meant to have a mother like you to share Christmas with, a mother who loved us so much, and we loved in return.
I'm thinking of you standing at the stove making your famous Christmas fudge. It became a staple for us at Christmas time. Gary swore it was the best fudge he ever tasted, and always thought you should market it. I'm thinking of Christmas eve dinner, and the fun and laughter; you reading to us a favorite poem and prayer. And going to Christmas Mass.
Right now I'm looking at the gold leaf Nativity, the one you had since early days of my youth, and treasured. There's something comforting to see that same Nativity still displayed in our home, especially this year, giving me pause to reflect, and remember about the Christ child, His Mother Mary, and Joseph.
I'm thinking of one of your favorite Christmas songs, The Little Drummer Boy, and how you would say you identified with the little drummer boy, thinking you had no gift to bring , that's fit to give to our king. But I say you brought Him so many gifts,
Mom, not just Christmas, but every day by the way you lived your life, and loved others. I'm envisioning you now in the Heavenly realm singing for Him with your sweet soprano voice, Gloria in excelsis dio. And your son, Walt standing near.
Merry Christmas, Mother. I love you.
Your daughter,
Kathleen Rosalie
