(5-30-12) IN MEMORY OF WALT

Walter Cooney passed away two years ago tonight. 

He  wasn’t rich or famous like a powerful politician, big time movie actor, or rock star, but he was very important and vital and uniquely special to his family and circle of friends – some lifelong from the time of his youth; Walt was my cherished little brother, Kerri’s longtime companion, Dad’s oldest son, and the apple of our mother’s eye, the one she called her ‘Golden Child’.

 While reliving the anguish and  horrible pain  of  learning my brother had died does no good,  reflecting on Walter's  life, and the gladness  he brought to  others,  helps to lighten the  empty feeling,  and loss  of   one so  loved  , one  no longer (physically)  here.  So today, on the anniversary of his death, each of us who knew and cared for my brother commemorates his 55 years of life with both tears of sorrow, and tears of joy for his presence in our lives, and all that he gave us.

Walt was no saint, and could be full of the dickens, but he had a kind heart and gentle spirit; He didn't judge people harshly, or hold grudges, and loved to laugh.   He was never overt in sharing his faith, but often called our mother and asked for prayers for some special need. He told her he liked to stop in at St. Joseph’s church (not far from his home) during the week to ‘talk things over with God’.    A few weeks after his passing I was  moved when Mother presented me with an edition of the New Testament, the one inscribed to Walt from my husband Gary and me for his birthday in September, 1982.   I held it in my hands, and remembered buying this particular edition just for him at a religious education conference I attended in Anaheim, California.  What touched my spirit more was to find passages and page numbers my brother had highlighted, like the one from Revelation 5:11-13

  As my vision continued, I heard the voices of many angels who surrounded the throne and the living creatures and the elders. They were countless in number, thousands and tens of thousands, and they all cried out: “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches, wisdom and strength, honor and glory and praise!” Then I heard the voices of every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea; everything in the universe cried aloud: “To the One seated on the throne and to the Lamb, be praise and honor, glory and might, forever and ever!”

It was as though , just at that moment  while  I was still deeply grieving  for  him, my brother   wanted to share  this passage with me, to help  reassure me he was okay, he was worshipping in the glory of the Lord with all the saints and angels; That all was well.  

And it did help me  through the grieving process. Not that there aren’t times I still grieve, and miss my brother. I do. I will always miss him.  Not in an unwholesome way, but as one misses  someone  so dear, once part of themself, the sweet days of childhood and their  lifetime of  shared  moments,  now forever gone.  It is then I pick up Walt’s New Testament to read the verses he underlined so many years ago, and am reassured again.  He is with the Lord, and the Lord is with him.

The truth is my brother wouldn’t want his mother or father, his family or  friends to be continually sad, he would want us to be happy and embrace life with zest – to live and love and laugh. He would want us to  think of him and smile.

                                                                   

what i see

What do i see sitting 
from my front door 
bench ? A doe browsing
newly sprouted grass
beneath the evergreen tree;
A Bluebird, bluer than 
the pale blue sky
fluttering its wings, then floating
mid-air before quickly  flying 
over  two red breasted robins
bobbing along the rocky 
ground, searching for seed;
And in the field,  green from
spring rain,  a  brown 
rabbit with four white paws
that look like socks on
furry feet.  

END OF DAY

The bright of day
slowly fades  away -
Dusk  moves in
to cast  a shadowy 
grey over the forested
land, and deep water 
lake. Darkness looms;
It's blackness soon 
to fall upon us
like a theater curtain 
signals  the end 
of  a Broadway play. 
Birds seek their
rest, deer bed down
The earth grows quiet;
A faint whispering of
wind  the only sound

Late Afternoon

i sit and watch
a flock of geese
flying across the
pale blue sky
i listen to the happy
sound of songbirds
singing their melodious
tune from  high
atop evergreen trees
i feel the
gentle breeze brush
against my freckled arms,
and am grateful
for this moment
in time; Sweet
solitude, peaceful space
to breath nature's
beauty in my own
special place

LOVE

What is love ?

not just the telling of, 
but the doing
day in and day out
Giving of self
and sharing the load
To give encouragement,
and kindly word to 
the other who is discouraged,
broken and bent;
Listening with an
understanding heart
To forgive a flare
of anger after the 
heat of bad temperament
Laughing together with
joyful glee over 
some silly moment
Steadiness.
Faithfulness.
Commitment, and trust.